My Family's Favorite Jokes (just the punch lines!)
- Tastes like crap ... But, it's good ! ( Bib)
- Where's that Eskimo woman I have to kill. (Bib)
- Never trust anyone, not even your father. (Bib)
- Feel the f*@#ing breeze.(Bib)
- How should I feel? Does he call; does he write? (Bib ?)
- Don't wrap it, I'll eat it here. (Dad)
- Oh no, Ruffles wasn't THAT shaggy.(Dad)
- Isn't Sam the tailor amazing. He can even make a suit for a cripple. (Dad)
- What I lose on each one, I make up in volume. (Dad)
- True, the suit is cheaper in Florida, but the plane ticket is expensive. (Something like this by Dad)
- Funny, you don't look Jewish. (Mom)
- Oy, was I tirsty. (Mom)
- Just when I had the horse almost fully trained, he died on me!(Gabe)
- Just when he was almost full grown, my back had to go out on me! (Gabe)
- Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference.(Nachum)
- A pig like that you don't eat all at once.(Gabe)
- You didn't tell it right.
- That one - they never heard before.
- The coise ?? Mr. Plotnick.... (Mom)
Zelda: Goldie, what happened to your hair? It looks like a wig!
Goldie: Well, actually it is a wig.
Zelda: You could never tell. (Mom)
Some More punch lines
- Look, he's moving! (mom)
- Don't worry, the mouse is a ventriloquist.
- Does it hurt? Only when I laugh.
- I don't know, he always made his own lunch.
- Ok, Moses, have it your way.
- Look who thinks he's nothing. (M. Bertman)
- No Selma, we are shwartzas. (M. Bertman)
- I don't mind if the pray together, but when I give my sermon I don't want them sleeping together. (M. Bertman)
- I feel like I'm talking to a wall. (M. Bertman)
- I don't know about you, but my congregation knows me by my face.(A Bobbe)
- That question is so simple, I'll let my driver answer it.
- Better one of them should go than one of us.
- Och, Goyisha Kopf.