My Family's Favorite Jokes (just the punch lines!)

  1. Tastes like crap ... But, it's good ! ( Bib)
  2. Where's that Eskimo woman I have to kill. (Bib)
  3. Never trust anyone, not even your father. (Bib)
  4. Feel the f*@#ing breeze.(Bib)
  5. How should I feel? Does he call; does he write? (Bib ?)
  6. Don't wrap it, I'll eat it here. (Dad)
  7. Oh no, Ruffles wasn't THAT shaggy.(Dad)
  8. Isn't Sam the tailor amazing. He can even make a suit for a cripple. (Dad)
  9. What I lose on each one, I make up in volume. (Dad)
  10. True, the suit is cheaper in Florida, but the plane ticket is expensive. (Something like this by Dad)
  11. Funny, you don't look Jewish. (Mom)
  12. Oy, was I tirsty. (Mom)
  13. Just when I had the horse almost fully trained, he died on me!(Gabe)
  14. Just when he was almost full grown, my back had to go out on me! (Gabe)
  15. Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference.(Nachum)
  16. A pig like that you don't eat all at once.(Gabe)
  17. You didn't tell it right.
  18. That one - they never heard before.
  19. The coise ?? Mr. Plotnick.... (Mom)
  20. Zelda: Goldie, what happened to your hair? It looks like a wig!
    Goldie: Well, actually it is a wig.
    Zelda: You could never tell. (Mom)

Some More punch lines

  1. Look, he's moving! (mom)
  2. Don't worry, the mouse is a ventriloquist.
  3. Does it hurt? Only when I laugh.
  4. I don't know, he always made his own lunch.
  5. Ok, Moses, have it your way.
  6. Look who thinks he's nothing. (M. Bertman)
  7. No Selma, we are shwartzas. (M. Bertman)
  8. I don't mind if the pray together, but when I give my sermon I don't want them sleeping together. (M. Bertman)
  9. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. (M. Bertman)
  10. I don't know about you, but my congregation knows me by my face.(A Bobbe)
  11. That question is so simple, I'll let my driver answer it.
  12. Better one of them should go than one of us.
  13. Och, Goyisha Kopf.